Ego is based in “knowledge”. Knowing is past-based. Wisdom, on the other hand, is present & future based. When it comes to a happy life, especially in relationships, “knowing” can lead to real suffering. Projecting the past into the future gets us stuck.
Have you heard someone say, “I know how they are” or “I know what will happen”? This is the “knowing” we’re talking about. In NLP, we call it “Mind Reading” and in the extreme it is actually a subtle clue in the language of insane people. It’s absolutely not possible to know the future in any way. At least not yet. You can see how knowing is a problem!
If you find yourself feeling stuck, check out if you are “knowing” what the future holds. Especially if you feel stuck in a particular relationship. Does your ego-mind think it knows how the other person is and that they won’t ever change? Well, that means YOUR ego-mind won’t let them change, you won’t see it, because then you’d wrong, and wrong means dead to the monkey mind.
I’ve been teaching people for years to practice holding a space for being joyfully surprised. Instead of thinking you know your spouse, hold out the possibility they might catch you off guard and surprise you in a great way. Maybe your husband will give you a complement even though your mind “knows” (past) he hasn’t in years. It’s NOT expectation. It’s just saying “no” to the insanity of the monkey mind “knowing” the future.
I’ve seen magic happen! People have had money come in when they dropped “knowing” that no money was coming in. I’ve heard of spouses surprised with a night out on the town or just a peck on the cheek for no reason. It’s not only an example of Law of Attraction but really a deep embrace of the fact that life is a complete mystery, and so is everything around us. When your mind start looking for the good in life, you will actually be able to see it when it shows up.