Forgiveness has been spoken about for centuries by most faiths and great teachers around the world as the way to peace and happiness. We’ve understood the power of forgiveness in psychology and health for decades. It’s such a common concept it has become a cliche. This can be a problem given the old idiom: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” If forgiveness is so important, why is it so hard for us to forgive?
This is a HUGE topic. I’ll keep it as short as possible so you can get right to the recorded process in this article and find more peace and happiness right now. That’s what this blog is about!
Here’s just 2 key points I’ve found in my experience working with hundreds of people on forgiveness:
1. Most people really don’t understand what the word “forgive” means so they can’t access forgiveness.
2. We weren’t taught how to forgive. It’s a process, not a chance occurrence. Few have ever been taught HOW to do it.
(Below is a link to a recorded process to actually forgive right now!)
1) First, let’s understand the word:
O.E. forgiefan “give, grant, allow,” also “to give up” and “to give in marriage;” from for- “completely” + giefan “give” (see give). The modern sense of “to give up desire or power to punish” is from use of the compound as a Gmc. loan-translation of L. perdonare (cf. Du. vergeven, Ger. vergeben; see pardon).
To “forgive” means to give up the desire to punish! To cease to feel resentment against. It does not mean to “condone”. That’s why we have two words, they are different. Forgiveness is about setting your soul free from constant thoughts of the other person or what we imagine happened. It has nothing to do with them or their behaviors. It’s finally letting the prisoner out of jail and realizing all along, the prisoner was you.
Recent university research shows that negative thoughts can prolong and double healing time. Negativity can kill us. Unforgiveness of parents can get in the way of healthy relationships. The list is long. Now you see why forgiveness is so important.
2) HOW do we forgive? Now that we get that forgiveness only means letting go our resentment feelings, our grudge, so that we can be healthy, take care of our cells, and live a happy life… how do I do it?
Well you’re in luck! One of my NLP teachers and colleagues has made available a recording he did from modeling a shaman and many years of working with successful forgiveness.
Click here to get this amazing 20-minute recorded process. Look for the “download MP3” link on the page or just click the play button. Make a quiet time to close your eyes and really go deep in the visualization.
This is why I love Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). It’s the HOW of a successful life. Real processes for real change! Let me hear your experience. We’ll talk more about forgiveness in future articles.