Another place to start spotting your shadow is traits you see in others. Debbie Ford is brilliant in teaching how the things we hate in others are really our shadow aspect. This is a great place to look for your shadow. Look for where it is cast. Other people just help us see ourselves.
What traits do you really hate in others? The key is it brings out emotions. And look for the key word you would use. For example, do you hate some of the “stupid” people at work? Or do “liars” really plague you? How about “aggressive” or “angry” people? Maybe even you hate that a person is “weak”. Make a list of all the traits you hate in others. That’s a good place to look at your shadow. It’s what you hate about YOU and are trying to perge from yourself. It’s not very nice to hate yourself. This is what Debbie Ford discovered on her journey. In Dark side of the light chasers, she realized that while chasing happiness she still deep down inside hated herself.
I realize at this point, some of you are saying, “It’s them, I’m never like that”. Well, if you’re getting emotional about your denial, it’s your shadow. You have worked so hard to purge that aspect from you, you think it is gone. But hating it means it’s still around and probably waiting to show up at the worst times.
For now, make the list of traits you hate. Begin to look are where in your life you were that. Is there a wound, something you forgot until right now. Maybe you “lied” once when you were little or your parents shame “weak”. The shame was too much, so it got buried. Stop resisting and let’s start embracing all of you.
If you aren’t ready to make a list yet. Pick the one word you would hate to be called. The worst word. You would fight to not be that. It only hurts because we have a wound, not because of the letters forming a sound wave. Notice where you are resisting and there’s energy to be regained.