It seems sooner or later parents and children suffer a break. That tender bond when they were little has become elusive. Children may start to resent their parents or want distance from them. One of the reasons for this is that a parent may stop asking for or reject the help of their children.
You see, we are born to help. Helping another is where much of our value as a human is derived. Words contain tremendous power. The word “help” contains the magic of self-worth.
When we’re little, we dream of helping our parents. Maybe buy them a car, get them a house, or just make a picture for them to help them smile. The happier our parents are, the more love they have to give us. One day, either our parents reject our help or we realize we can’t help them.
Have you stopped asking your children for help? I don’t mean helping you by being one of your workers by doing some task. I mean being by your side to assist you, even in the smallest way so they are a part of your life. Even if your kids are adults now, invite them to genuinely help you, even in the smallest way, and see what’s possible when you reflect back to them that they are valuable and they can help. Help is about raising our spirits, not just completing tasks.
The movie Click with Adam Sandler has a brilliant moment where the writer shows how quickly we close the door on our children’s love when we reject their help. Here’s a clip: